Undoubtedly the most fun one can have guttin’ a chimera on the market today.

Lord Sweethaven's Eight-Bit Society

In a world besieged by DLC and intellectual properties devoid of innovation, Lord Sweethaven’s 8-Bit Society brings fourth to you, the good people of Planet Zero, videoscopic treats from days of gaming past. Quod olim vetus novum est iterum. Est aeternum fun!

I’m a habitual non-completer when it comes to my gaming. I collect way more games than I ever finish, which is really a shame because I collect so many.

“I envy your collection, Braniff.”

Thanks, Al! Your adulation converts my addiction and elevates it into being a legit gaming archive. I’m an academic! That said, one series I never struggled to see my way thru has been the God of War games. And I’m talking about the original, and not the PS4 version. MY Kratos isn’t a brooding family-man. MY Kratos is a cantankerous sociopath who killed his family!

So don’t take it personal, Mister Centaur. Kratos treats everyone that way!

I’m proud to say that I can cross God of War 3 off my “Games to Complete” list not once but TWICE, having revisited the “remastered edition” on the PS4. Even those brought up through the American education system know that after 1 and 2 comes 3, meaning that God of War 3 is the third installment of the series. And just like GOW 1 and 2, GOW3 if rife with puzzles and combat, but each vastly improved, so just take everything I said about the first two and add “perfected” to it. I mean it. I’m not just saying that to save my time from having to write a more in-depth review. And you have played the first two by now, haven’t you? Haven’t you?! Don’t lie!

See, Sometimes you just want to play a game where you can jump in, and hack-n-slash everything moving on the screen. GOW3 is just that game, but if you missed out on the prequels, and this includes Ghosts of Sparta and Chains of Olympus, you won’t have that same rewarding feeling I experienced. There are a lot of references to previous events, and without this familiarity, you’ll think that all the violence unleashed before your eyes is gratuitous and unwarranted. But if you did your gaming duty and are hip to what lead to the events of GOW3, you know that everyone who gets done dirty had it coming to them. And what they have coming is death. Gruesome, unrelenting, merciless death! You will believe that a god can bleed. And bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed! Wanton evisceration in 1080p is a sight indeed. Even I was taken aback, and I’m made out of sterner stuff!

God of War III

Hades, Helios, Hermes, Zeus… if you knew what Kratos had in store for you, you’d be running in the other direction!

I pretty much whizzed thru the GOW3, which isn’t to say it’s an easy game. Far from it. It’s full of challenges that will test both your mind and digital dexterity (digits as in fingers… learn some synonyms for goodness sake). But the pacing is brisk, and I never had to resort to consulting walk-thrus to get by the trickier puzzles as I sadly found myself doing with GOW1 and especially 2. Perhaps the challenges were easier, or after having spent so much time with GOW 1 and 2, I was better apt at figuring the solution. I’ll go with the later—I like to feel good about myself.

When I threaten folk with harm for not having played GOW, I only do so out of love. It’s an essential part of ay PlayStation library. Don’t you want to get your money’s worth? You have to play it! I don’t feel as strongly about this as I do with GOW 1 and 2, so if you don’t own GOW3 I won’t smack you and abscond with your system, but I will still make a sandwich and leave you just enough mustard to be frustrated by the inadequate scrapings.

God of War 3 (PS3, PS4)
Ready Player One10
Ready Player Two10
Sights and Sounds10
Easy to the Touch10
Play It Again and Again5
The Good
Distractingly beautiful (No not you Aphrodite)
Easily accessible and solid handling (Again Aphrodite, I'm not talking about you)
The Bad
After fighting through once, you be hesitant to immediately take it on again.
9
The blood! Just… just so much blood!
The only tragedy bigger than the time it takes for me to get around to playing all the games I've amassed, is the tale of Kratos. Thus it’s only fitting that I was able to get one step closer to game library nirvana by completing the third and final chapter of the God of War franchise. Ok, so in effect by playing the remastered version is just playing the original twice, but GET IT'S JUST THAT GOOD!
Braniff

Author Braniff

Braniff believes there isn’t a problem that watching a lil’ Godzilla or a bit of impulse shopping can’t fix.

More posts by Braniff