BraniffAn outdated relic from the past or a hero for all time?
No one better dismiss Flash Gordon as a mere “pulp hero”, because without him we ourselves would be pulp, festering in the bowels of so many boreworms.
Flash!
Savior of the Universe.
Flash!
He’ll save every one of us.
Flash!
He’s a miracle.
Flash!
King of the impossible.
Flash!
He’s for every one of us. Stands for every one of us. He saves with a mighty hand every man, every woman, every child, with a mighty…
Flash!
But what about his love for his fellow man? He has to admit that he was in love with Dale. I mean really, how many chicks are called Dale?
-SIGH- Yes, Flash stands for everyone of us, and that includes Chip. But he’s right, for not everything is aces…
Flash played for the New York Jets
In the 80s. And openly admitted it.
…and yet…
Irresistible
Flash played for the Jets. In the 80s. Openly admitted it. And STILL got the women! Now that’s a man’s man!
…furthermore…
Entrepenuer
And maybe the reason Dale was so smitten was because she recognized his marketing genius. Before Air Jordon, there was Flash — unheralded pioneer in the realm of sports marketing.
Suck it, Nike!
Aura was a ho. And yes, while I usually find that to be a plus when judging intergalactic royalty, there’s a difference in being the delectable Earth man that all that ladies want and being just another notch in the tiara. Flash, in his mighty wisdom, knows the difference between which is which!
But enough with the talk. It’s time to render the final, binding, no-holds barred judgement…
From Earth to Mongo and all points in-between, Flash Gordon is all…
