BraniffAn outdated relic from the past or a hero for all time?
Webster’s defines “hero” as a legendary figure admired for great achievement and noble qualities. But for some, a hero is nothing but a sort of freaky sandwich. At LIVE! from Planet Zero we hold a higher standard as to whom we deem to be true paragons of righteousness and virtue.
The day of judgement is nigh! Bring forth your space cowboys, masked marvels, and super spies as we determine once and for all: HERO OR HYPE?
No one better dismiss Flash Gordon as a mere “pulp hero”, because without him we ourselves would be pulp, festering in the bowels of so many boreworms.
Flash!
Savior of the Universe.
Flash!
He’ll save every one of us.
Flash!
He’s a miracle.
Flash!
King of the impossible.
Flash!
He’s for every one of us. Stands for every one of us. He saves with a mighty hand every man, every woman, every child, with a mighty…
Flash!
But what about his love for his fellow man? He has to admit that he was in love with Dale. I mean really, how many chicks are called Dale?
-SIGH- Yes, Flash stands for everyone of us, and that includes Chip. But he’s right, for not everything is aces…
Flash played for the New York Jets
In the 80s. And openly admitted it. If you know anything about football, you know just how shameful that is.
…and yet…
Irresistible
Flash played for the Jets. In the 80s. Openly admitted it. Yet he STILL got the women! Now that’s a man’s man!
…furthermore…
Entrepenuer
And maybe the reason Dale was so smitten was because she recognized his marketing genius. Before Air Jordon, there was Flash — unheralded pioneer in the realm of sports marketing.
Suck it, Nike!
Princess Aura was a stone cold ho. And yes, while I usually find that to be a plus when judging intergalactic royalty, there’s a difference in being the delectable Earth man that all that ladies want and being just another notch in the tiara. Flash, in his mighty wisdom, knows the difference between which is which!
But enough with the talk. It’s time to render the final, binding, no-holds barred judgement…
From Earth to Mongo and all points in-between, Flash Gordon is all…
