Ghidorah reflects upon Godzilla: King of the Monsters, and distinguishes fact from fiction...


“Simply unprofessional.”

Are you referring to Rodan, Mothra, and Anguirus’s less than complementary criticisms directed towards Godzilla: King of the Monsters.


“Yes we are. We found their outbursts to be petty, distasteful, and we honestly fail to understand how they cannot appreciate their station in the great scheme of things. It befuddles our many minds.”

I think that from their perspective, especially in comparison to how forceful you and Godzilla come across on the screen, Rodan and Mothra feel a bit slighted, and that by having to be portray such  subservient individuals, they were unable to elevate their report to the expectations of their respective fanbases.


“Preposterous. With the utmost humility, we think it’s safe to say that we’re quite popular ourself, yet we’ve never gotten the better of Godzilla on film to date. Not even in Giant Monsters All-Out Attack in which we were a hero! But alas, Godzilla is the star, whereas we are the villain. ‘Tis all part of the tale we have endeavored to tell.”

Ah yes. I believe that it was Konstantin Stanislavski who remarked that “there are no small parts, only small actors.” Ghidorah, I admire how I’ve never heard you complain — the mark of a true thespian.


“Thank you. Can you believe there are those who honestly endorse the LUDICROUS notion that we, THE three-headed monster couldn’t have BEATEN Godzilla into an ABSOLUTE PULP if we had really wanted to?! You don’t hear Darth Vader express malcontent when he is bested by lesser, sniveling Luke Skywalker. We are simply playing our requested roles.”

Haha… I guess that’s a common lament for you guys in a suit.


“What the @#$% did you just call us!?”

I… err ummm so… so… G… Ghidorah, do you feel…


“KING Ghidorah!”

Ummm uhhh yes K… King Ghidorah, is… is… is it safe to conclude that you felt as if you were treated just and fairly by the makers of Godzilla: King of the Monsters?


“What is unfair is that we have three heads but only received one check for all our efforts! But we did sign-on for a three picture deal, so we should break even in the end…”


Author Braniff

Braniff believes there isn’t a problem that watching a lil’ Godzilla or a bit of impulse shopping can’t fix.

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